2:38 a.m. / December 10, 2006 - -
tears just tears
deliberate dehumanization
it's all around us
but not within us
it's everywhere you look
unless you look inside
nice razor
you got bluetooth?
check out my ipod
why does all of this
shit
not make me
feel right
inside?
it seems like everything which people
seem
to believe should make one
feel whole
make me feel
like a fragment
living in a fragment
in a fragment
in a fragment
i miss my mother
my provider
my love
let's go back
we have to give up
we got here too late
that's allbring it back to the origin
text on a computer screen
this great tool of connection
that is the internet
makes me feel so completely
utterly
disconnected
where did the garden go?
africa
i haven't been in your womb
for a nameless eternity
and even though i'm far away
i know that you're right here
inside of me
that even though i left you
you've never left me
please don't ever
let this flame be
extinguished
please don't ever
let this heart stop
beating
please don't ever
tell me that you don't miss
it too
because i know you have it in you
i know that your heart beats for it
i know that you feel the same anguish
of being 'human'
let me be an ape again
please
god
i want to stop wanting to understand myselflessness
i beg, "let me not need understanding any longer!"
i don't want memories of yesterday and tomorrow
i don't desire knowledge of good and evil
take away from me these things
that i might live eternally
under a barrage of stars and clouds
entangled in twisting vines
blood from its fruit
coating my lips and chesthairs bristling
against the dewey grass
how can i find my paradise lost?
