3:15 a.m. / May 30, 2006 - -
Jesus fucking christ.
written in a paper notebook: At first it was like approaching coming; always tied up in that furious moment of being on the verge. The rising action of sitting in the dark with these faceless voices, the madness growing within, the mood of insanity permeating all of us. You can feel it, as sure as your heart is beating you can feel it. Is it THE KEY? Probably not. Personally though the craziness in-out hallucinations, auditory clips and images popping up left and right, like clips from a movie. Everything playing at once, a cacaphony of noise and sound and memory (sentences often end abruptly in this manner). And my belly is tight and sore. My throat as well. It's hot, and later we'll all be on fire, burning in the very depths of hell. When the darkness ends and our demons are revealed under firelight we'll all be more open and honest than any of us have ever been before. Your senses are working doubletime and it's exhausting. Where do I end? Where does the air began?
All you ever have to do to redeem and clenase yourself is create something, anything, out of love and honest. We ARE here to keep the world B E A U T I F U L.
Before it completely overloaded my head with a new framework and rendered me all but incommunicado, I felt as if I were thinking extremely clearly, in fact feeling more lucid, calm, and at ease during those moments than ever I have before. Then, of course, the lights, the voices, the spinning sky, our primal fire, new being. Monsters.
8am Sunday, went to sleep. 2pm Sunday woke up. 11pm Sunday chewed it. 7pm Monday Auditories going strong; killer afterglow won't let me sleep. 10pm Monday pass the fuck out.
It felt like a game. A bizarre, monster of a game. A hidden message given to us by the creator. You only have a limited amount of time to beat the game. To sift through the madness, walk through the eyes of a psychopath and unlock your vast potential.
