2:42 a.m. / January 14, 2006 - -
rock and roll suicide
can i explain to you the wonders of the Great Re-Wiring? i can try, i guess, but candoor is right. no one will ever really understand exactly what i feel. and i've known this for awhile, how long has the disconnected feeling been here? time beyond comprehension! since the DAWN of AD man. the way that i've been seeing things recently though, how can i explain it? bizarre combinations of people and places in my minds eye. now i associate peanut butter with my brother, the fat bearded guy at work is a troll toiling in the back, life is better because i know that i am alone. i have never felt any better or more lonely in my life. does that make sense to anyone? i struggled with it for awhile, but in the end loneliness isn't that bad, at least i'm thinking more. that's really all i do. at work, at home, and away, i guess this means i'll be doing more documenting? i don't want to see my lungs. i picture hand grenade balloons when i think of them. when the moon is in the seventh house. i'm dirty. haven't bathed for four days and i'm clean of caffeine, GOODBYE TO DELIRIUM, HELLO SUNSHINE. friday the 13th went pretty well. got a great review at the factorybox and a forty cent raise. they want me to stick around for a long time. they could use more people like me, but what kind of person am i? i do as much as i can at work so that the time will pass more quickly. so i don't have to think about being there.milk and water gets kind of old. let the sunshine, let the sun shine in. can you believe this? questions! another great wonder of the aforementioned GR process. where are they coming from? suddenly i want to know about everything. i want to know about the other sealab pods! where is the old hippie with hair down to his ass from? why such a small town? does he cook it himself? who are the three girls? who do i contact him? what makes a chair a chair? why are smurfs blue? how does the microwave cook my food? questions! everywhere! ponder ponder lament lament ask ask ask ask ask askew, i don't talk to people much lately. i FEEL crazy. i feel like i'll send people running for the hillsides. brush my teeth four times a minute.
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