5:18 p.m. / December 11, 2005 - -
all in all it was a good night. u.s. customs is a pain.
this is all detailed from sketchy drunken memories of cold canadian streets vomit-laced snow and the words written sloppily on my arm. in the northland, they don't just walk at crosswalks, they fucking strut, and if you know anything about life you'll shut your goddamned mouth and do what the sign says. the getting there and coming back are unglamorous and for the most part forgotten but the things that i'm not able to remember stand out most in my mind, ethanol ethanol ethanol blues, $120 dollars USD spent in the course of some amount of hours, and the nicotine stains, those go down to the bone, icing over as the elements devour us. my skin is peeling. there's blood on my arm. throw to the wind my brothers this notion that if it feels too right to be wrong that it is wrong. it is not wrong. it is not evil. we are here to make out of life whatever our desire is and to deny our desires is to condemn our souls to death. the local crazy woman hit on us throughout the night and warned us to stay away from the local gayest of the gay men, while the local gay man talked to us all night and warned us to stay away from the local crazy woman. the indian lady at the bar told us to see her in ten minutes for a toke; in ten minutes we went to her and she had no herb. she tried to buy us beers but had no money to do so with, then she mumbled to herself. i remember michelle and pam in the pink shirt, and dancing, dancing. i remember that and the shots, lining up for their demise as our troop destroyed them. yelling, "i love canada!" they told us to come back again. threw up at a crosswalk, police everywhere, slept in the back of a van and when we woke up there was frost on the walls. in my head before i went to sleep i could visualize all of the words in my mental index and i watched columns of them slip away. thinking to myself, "i actually would rather be with her right now" and i knew that my hearts desire was this as well. my fabb muscles superstar.
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