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8:52 p.m. / July 07, 2005 - - i never did make it to subway

the other day we found a wheelchair in my friend's garage and i decided to wheel up to subway without using my legs; i hoped to get a discount on my cold-cut combo. i made it about a mile, if that, up the road before getting stuck on a sidewalk corner. people stared. one old woman asked if i needed help but i told her to stay back, said that i'd do it myself. i eventually made it up and got about a quarter mile down the sidewalk before realizing that i was missing my ten dollar butane torch lighter. i figured i lost it at the difficult curb. i went back to investigate from what i thought was a safe distance, but i rolled in and was stuck again. this time there was no stopping the old lady. she pushed as hard as she could but i didn't budge. a huge man came up. three times my size. muscled. he started to push and told me my front tired was bent and wouldn't work anymore. i'd have to call for someone to get me. i said, "well, i can always walk" got up, and began to speedwalk away. he said, "you're real cute. real cute" and a woman i passed by asked, "don't you feel bad making that old lady help you" and i said to her, "well, don't you feel bad gawking at me instead of helping in any way? at least she can go to sleep knowing she's a good person"

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