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11:51 a.m. / June 05, 2005 - - sitting in the drunk section

first time being drunk last night. jack daniels. 7 to 10 shots mixed with coke, can't remember the exact amount, and also one can of coors. i remember someone telling me that i wouldn't remember anything, being down by the lake and trying not to tip over onto my drink, everything getting worse/better from there, my sense of spatial distances becoming distorted. we devoured a whole bag of sunchips in two and a half seconds, i can't even fucking remember. a lot of my cigarettes are listed as casualties in this battle. gone. my butane torch lighter too. gone. still drunk, everything is spinning inside of my head and the outside world isn't spinning fast enough to keep up. i'm a part of the outside world, note to self here. a drunk part. doritos at my feet, keep eating solid food. everyone is gone, my lighter is gone, someone took a tiki torch down to the pond last night, aaron cleaned up. wrote a note to myself on a shard of paper "Adam is so drunk he can't even write HELP". it took me five minutes to decipher it, i slur my speech badly when drunk, calling everyone on my phone list, coors tastes like drinking cheese, i want to vomit thinking about it. looking at a beer can makes me want to toss my stomach all over. throwing up this morning was a good experience, though. i felt sick, i went to the toilet, stumbling, i threw up, i walked back to the bed and passed out. then i woke up. did i mention a bag of sunchips? because that's key. those chips. we demolished them, didn't stand a chance and i'm never coming home again fuck it i'm never coming home, taking lines from movies and song titles, drunk. drunk. can't remember calling this girl but apparently i did. remember nothing of saying goodbye to her, or this one here. remember hanging up rapidly many times to names i can't remember, however. i have to go to the bathroom, my bodily functions are catching up to me, i'm feeling more pain now. my head is heavy, i was rolling it, cigarettes fell out of a case. most of the night was outside, it all disappeared, because suddenly i was in a room and it was four in the morning. i pulled my shirt up for tom to see. there was vomit on his pants, either that or ketchup. i can't tell. it is dry, he's in the bed, alex threw up on a blue thing. sweet nectar of life, quell this uprising in my stomach. go fanta. go doritos. will it give it more fuel to burn, more vomit to clean, the puke puke puke puke repeating words. my lighter! revelation, i remember setting the side of the table on fire, only it wouldn't burn; this doesn't help me locate it much. to the bathroom! jack daniels smells like insect repellent and tastes like cough syrup. throwing things was delightful FOUR DAYS KATIE SAYS FOUR DAYS! i spilled my fourth cup of jack and coke on the table outside, and then i pursed my lips, pressed them to the glass, and sucked. yummy dirt liquor. aaron said, "THAT'S PRECIOUS, THE JACK!" or something like that, more calm, more aaron, don't don't don't let's start. way too dizzy. talking with e-people. last night i peed on my hand accidentally.

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