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3:24 a.m. / May 19, 2005 - - in case you haven't been with me for the past few days

dirt road tom's house and before that, holy crap, before that? brother and his friends, aaron was there. slept in a bed together? brother kicked aaron out on threat of nudity. slept, good sleep. dreams fuzzy. worked. didn't i? at some point, probably, maybe. yes. i definitely worked. head hurts. tom's house, no, wait. aaron's house. no, no. tom's house, yes, there we are, tom's house. star wars game. preperation for film, they say. i'll beat it later, while they sleep. tom's room. we smoke salvia. nothing happens. i lay down. close my eyes. black out. the next thing i remember, i feel as if a warm blanket is covering me, the feeling you get just as you're falling asleep; tom has apparently left the room to tell the others that i was 'freaking out'. cannot remember this. cannot remember anything. open my eyes. no blanket. there is a plaque on the wall; it has the word "thomas" printed on it. i laugh. cannot stop laughing. exclaim to tom, "your name is like 'my face' only backwards, and with different letters!" time passes. sleep on couch, later on a pull out bed. go to aaron's house. there is a four year old named luke there. i talk to him. i say, "daycare here is boring, isn't it?" he agrees. i say, "aaron's mom is kind of crazy, yeah?" he agrees. we look at dinosaur slides. i teach him a gang sign. home. television. salvia. dad. shut up dad, shut up dad. aaron's there. nobody cares dad. enough of the stories dad. drive drive. star wars. in sync all day. we drive down lake street. i see a girl. i look at her and say, "how old is she?" aaron and i both look at her and both say, "old enough."

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