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2:16 p.m. / March 17, 2005 - - i can't see straight; salvia again go back about fourteen hours. salvia again. i do not recall what the other's were experiencing, and right now, i am very tired. my eyes are about to fall out of my head, and i am convinced that this screen is made of frosting. i know it is not. i can see it. but my brain is telling me that my optical receptors are liars. my experience on salvia tonight: i was leaning back on the floor once again. and once again, i thought, "nothing will happen" at which point i started laughing, thinking, once again, "i am faking it". the faking it thing is a recurring theme with me, apparently. i always feel as if i'm lying to myself and everyone else, but here is what i feel as if i were feeling: i was leaning back, as i have said, and began laughing. at this point it felt as if i were being pulled from behind, and even though i could not see behind me, did not look, i instinctively knew that yes, it was a clown attempting to pull me into the back of a semi as cargo. "no" i said aloud a number of times (alex confirmed this), "no no no!" i told the clown. then i said, "okay" and began laughing hysterically and kicking my feet as he pulled me deeper into the cargo area. i asked them if they saw it. they did not. i looked behind me. everything was normal, i saw that. everything looked normal. but something in my brain was telling me that though it looked as it always did, there was something different and unnatural about the area behind me. that it was larger than it appeared. and that was it. during this whole thing, i was thinking, "a clown is trying to kidnap me, i should be terrified" but once again, i was euphoric. a clown is kidnapping me. this is the best day of my life. i think i'll lay off for awhile, though. took my template from bobby burgess. adore him. e-mailed him saying, "i have without your permission taken your template". as for my writing style, i can guarantee you that it was influenced by his. as for his writing style, i can guarantee you that it was influenced by palahniuk. and i'm willing to bet that palahniuk was influenced by vonnegut. not to place myself amongst them, but to show how these things happen. this style of writing, it works for me. it feels good. i trust my feelings most of the time. i started out like this a long time ago, but reading bobby, and palahniuk, well, they definitely pushed me a bit further into it. no surprise there. for the benefit of the anonymous comment leaver, so as to spare them from having to post bobby's address multiple times, i've made his name at the bottom into a link. go read it all.

template lifted and modded without permission from Bobby Burgess, content � Adam D'Amalfi