5:49 p.m. / February 14, 2006 - -
letter to a friend
i like that you tell me. hearing about other people's troubles makes me feel less alone about mine. and i want to know more about you, anyhow. like, pretty much everything, yeah. that wasn't really a long message at all, but i can see how it could have taken a long time. sometimes it's hard to find words. sadness of thinking about the dead. sadness of mismatched socks. sadness of wind blowing out a candle. sadness of touch. sadness of memory. it's from a book, that. Everything Is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran-Foer. very good, alex brought the author's next book with to wyoming. i read it on the bus. i'm drunk. right now i am just passing time. waiting for something to come up. working, earning money, spending it, passing time, wasting time. i owe my dad a ton but it's hard to take it seriously. i'll probably be in the factory for a long time. my entire life it seems has been based upon the search for something to love. i'm better now having realized my purpose, the purpose which feels most right. it's a simple one i suppose but it fills my head at all times, and my mind is uncertain, jumping from one memory to another. there is a girl in las vegas but i have basically given up on any idea that i'll ever see her again, though she wears my sweatshirt sometimes at night without knowing why. there is a girl to the north of here not far, but i am unsure when i will see her next. happy valentines day 2006 4EVR. i was explaining to a friend that i have formed a coat of happiness out of my sadness rags. i feel like a machine running at half-capacity and still struggling, but by god at least i'm still running.
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