5:45 p.m. / September 16, 2005 - -
i sure don't have any idea.
i've been formulating the words in my head, all day, working, coming up with them, and now that i'm sitting here they're all gone, lost in the workweek.most of the time it feels like i never have the right words. i wonder if that ever changes? will i always feel inadequete here? it feels as if there has been something missing for a long time. it always feels like that. always feels like i've uncovered something great that will bring me alive, but i never do. what really kills people is the waiting, the hoping. we periodically check for improvement, don't see any, get discouraged, quit; but we're better. we're stronger, we've learned more. done more, what is this turning into? it was all i i i and now it's we- i always do this! speak for them, adam! there are others like you! part of life is accepting and being okay with the idea that there might not be others like you. or that they are everywhere.
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