6:28 p.m. / March 05, 2005 - -
sojourner
last night, i had my first experience with drugs. everybody says, "why after going through high school without them are you seeking them now? you're not even in college!"as if being in college and using drugs makes any more sense. anyhow, last night. with my father and his friend. salvia divinorum, legal in the united states, plain leaves. i can't say that i felt the full effect of it. the dad, he did; and he's a seasoned drug user, so i can only assume that i didn't take enough in, or i didn't hold it in long enough. i definitely felt something. a detachment. but nothing incredible. it felt as if my chest were trying to escape through my mouth, and my hands were trying to leap off of the end of my arms so that they might travel to parts unknown. i made a few banner ads today. the wording in front of the collage is kind of hard to read, but i suppose i did the best that i could with just mspaint.
i'm up to twenty-five dollars. no longer broke. it feels good to have it hanging out inside of my wallet, for now. i have a new job, which is really my old job; raising funds so that i can travel so that i can come back home and raise more funds. eventually though, i won't be coming back here. i just have to find a different place that i want to stay. make my trip a permanent one instead of being simply an itinerant.
i'm not sure if i'm going to take advantage of all of the supergold member features yet. i'll just let the idea gestate in my head for a few weeks.
okay, well. i've had an online diary in some place or another for years. since, i can't even remember. august, 2002, i think (and of course, before ever going online i had my written journals with label-maker labels on the cover, for extra-awesomeness; i still use them when i travel). i started out at diaryland and when my readers swelled to a massive fifty-five and writing in it no longer appealed to me, i moved to livejournal for a few months. and now i'm back here again- i like to think that i'm different from who i was when i first left diaryland. i like to think that riding greyhound around the country and inhaling the rotten air of l.a., talking to elderly women and annoying middle-aged men who are convinced that they're rock stars, meeting new people and persuing sweet god persuing what could maybe possibly actually be jesus christ, love, man, love. i like to think that over the course of the few months between diarylands, there has been some fundamental change in me.
i am unsure if there actually has been. and i'm even more unsure as to the direction of that change. i feel like a new coat somebody brought directly to a thrift store for charity. new, but being marked as used. i'll have a new car soon. have friends. books. music. life, in general, is good. the waves of drama crested long ago and the sea is tranquil again, at least for awhile. life is good. life is very good.
